


tell me about love.

by TOKYOBIN



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Boys In Love, Bulimia, Cheating, Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Muteness, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Separation Anxiety, Slow Romance, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Verbal Abuse, all the hurt, heavily hinted sapnotfound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29554683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TOKYOBIN/pseuds/TOKYOBIN
Summary: "that's the thing about love, isn't it?" george asks, standing up, "you'll let them destroy you, if only they'll stay."
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> most chapters are not proof read, so please excuse any mistakes. i'll go over them later <3

george never liked the color white. 

it was the color of mourning, of broken tears that longed to be anything but empty of emotion. a blank canvas, open to be ruined, to be shattered until it wasn’t itself anymore. it gave a fake sense of hope in its cleanliness, giving you freedom to do whatever you want, to ruin it however you want until it its destroyed. it was a mocking color, dangling its purity in front of you until you touch it, where it would shatter into rays of colors. he was tired of throwing up the color late at night, sobbing over pained memories with his face pressed into the cold porcelain of the toilet. 

he hated how pure the color flaunted itself as, yet it had taken everything from him, without a single hesitating thought. all it was, was fake promises with a lingering sense of hope, a hope so cold george pushed it down into regret. he painted the regret on his walls in swirls of white, ruining it by dragging his fingers through it, covered in obsidian blacks and droplets of crimson. the movements of his fingers were harsh, pouring out all of the pain, tears, anger, into insincere blobs of color with no purpose other than to carry away his mind.

the low drill of his alarm makes his fingers halt, a disappointed sigh falling from his lips as he removes his hand from the wall. he makes his way back over to his bed, shutting the alarm off with the swipe of a clean finger. his room falls back into the same droning silence as before as george walks back to his closet, wiping his hands clean on a dirty towel, capping all his paints, and hiding the wall once more behind his shield of clothing. before he shuts the door to his closet, he pulls down a loose black shirt and grey sweats, carefully holding them with his clean hand. 

he sets them on his bed while he packs his bag for school, haphazardly shoving in his laptop, chargers, and water bottle in with his notebooks. he zips it up and throws it over his shoulder, grabbing his clothes and bringing them to the bathroom. he lets the bag slide onto the floor when he walks into the room, setting the clothes down on the sink. his eyes look up at his reflection, the hollow form of himself staring back into the mirror. he hadn’t slept the night before, his eyes hooded with dark bags, the murky brown of his eyes empty. he runs a hand through his brown hair in an attempt to brush out the knots, teeth biting his dry lips, ignoring the slight sting of pain from the spot he had picked at.

in a quick motion, george pulls off his shirt from the night before, clenching his jaw slightly at the chilly air. he smooths his palm over his chest, down his sides, feeling the slight bumps of his ribs poking through his skin. the ghost of his fingers makes george shiver, trailing them down to the hem of his pants, pulling them down and stepping out of them. the tips of his hip bones poke through his skin, his boxers barely clinging on without the added support of his sweats drawstrings. the skeletal look of his figure was sickly too look at, painted with purple and red bruises, old and healing scars covering once fair skin. 

george exhales slowly, running warm water in the sink to wash away the remains of paint, before pulling on his clean clothes. the size of the cloths were enough to hide the skeletality of his form, his sweats so large he had to pull the drawstrings tight to avoid them slipping off. he picks his backpack up once again, sliding it over his shoulder, and walks right back out. his footsteps were soft against the hard wooded floor as he walks towards the stairs, the only sound in the empty house. he basked in the silence, finding it to raise the weight on his shoulders only slightly. he jumps the last step, heading straight into the kitchen upon landing.

the light of the sun rising shone through the window above the sink, lighting it up without the need for an extra source. there were beer cans littering the counter, which george quickly toss into the garbage can. he grabs an apple from their fruit basket and takes a bite, putting it down on a napkin as he grabs his waterbottle to refill it, adding in a slice of lemon before putting it in the cupholder of his backpack. he walks to his front door and grabs his slides, pulling on his socks before doing so. he grabs his apple before walking out the door, locking it behind him.

the air was cold, a light breeze causing it to bite into george’s skin. yet, he was in no rush to make his walk to school any faster. his neighborhood was always quiet, yet loud with the sound of nature. he listens to the gentle chirps of birds in the trees above him, dogs barking as he passed, and cars whizzing by. it was peaceful to him, the kind of silence he could tolerate. 

it was only a fifteen minute walk to his school, the flock of people his age growing larger and larger in number the closer he got. he didn’t care for any of them, their light chatter only adding into the background as he walks through the main doors, none of the people in passing having any sort of emotional importance to george. there were only two males in the entirety of the school who george knew by name, and therefore, personally.

karl and sapnap were both in a majority of his classes, an unintentional schedule that they never complained about. the two were people george looked up too the most, envying parts of them. they were his only friends in his years of going to school, having met both of them in high school. with all of them being in their school’s coding program, they hit it off quickly, helping each other out during school and spending hours afterwards hanging out at karl’s house, or sapnap’s. he’s never found himself as closely bonded to someone than those two, it was something he cherished and was thankful for.

they were both extremely patient with him, knowing that despite their talkative nature, george was the opposite in that aspect. they understood his anxiety when it came to speaking, always quietting down when george spoke in his normal soft whispers, never pushing him to be louder or speak more when he stopped. even when he was really overwhelmed and crying into one of their shoulders, they’d speak to him gently, letting him decide if he was going to open up about what was wrong, or if he was going to simply fall asleep in their arms after his tears wore him out. they’d talk to him like he was responding, learning what his facial expressions meant in terms of a response, and with what he couldn’t express, they’d quiet down to make sure they could hear his response, or offer their phone or notebook for him write it down if he didn’t feel comfortable speaking in the situation.

george slips through the crowd of people towards the nearest water fountain, where he always met the two before their first class. it was their spot. they’d meet at the water fountain, walk to their first class, break apart if they had separate classes, meet up again at lunch and go out to a nearby fast food place to eat, then head to the library to study. it was their schedule every single day, and none of them got tired of it or wanted to switch it up. a small smile raises onto george’s lips as he sees the two already standing there, karl noticing his arrival first and pulling him in for a gentle, yet tight, hug. a small “umph” sound falls from george’s lips at the action, and his arms wrap around karl’s middle for a second to return the hug, before pulling back.

“how’s our gogy?” sapnap asks as he walks to george’s side, offering the boy a smile. he opens one arm for a hug, which george gladly accepts, sapnap’s hugs always being warmer, softer, and safer than karl’s. george returns sapnap’s smile when he pulls back from the hug, “good. did you eat breakfast?”

george nods and holds up the half eaten apple he had idly eaten on his walk. he takes another bite before holding the rest out to karl, who eagerly takes it and starts to chew on it, content. the time on the clock catches george’s eyes, and he’s quick to point at it, their first class starting in a few minutes. the trio start to walk towards their class hall, george happily sandwiched between the two, who were acting almost like body guards to avoid having anyone running into george. 


	2. two

the trio make their way towards their class, heading towards the back where they had chosen their seats. although the lab table was set up so two sat on either side of it, sapnap and karl both sat beside george, neither complaining about the lack of space, their knees knocking together if they moved far too much. sometimes karl would jokingly knock his knee against george’s, whining loudly that it was georges fault since he was too tall, but when george would softly wack him with his notebook and scowl, he’d break out into laughter and apologize. george’s attempts of being scary never worked. they would only coo and acted scared till george would huff and go back to whatever he was doing. 

students start to slowly filter into the room, the teacher soon following suit and shutting the door behind her. a new person followed in behind her, georges eyes narrowing slightly at the sight at him. he unintentionally stares the boy down as he speaks to the teacher, letting his eyes dart from the dirty blonde hair, tannish skin, a gentle smile on his lips as he listens to her speak. he had on a pair of worn blue jeans and a light green hoodie, his form towering over the teacher as he listens. 

green eyes scan around the room, taking in all the people who had been giving him interested looks, gaze locking with george’s for a few seconds before george looks away, feeling his throat tighten from making eye contact. 

“is that a new person?” karl whispers, leaning in so his voice can be heard by both george and sapnap. “he’s kinda hot. i don’t think i’ve seen him around.”

george shrugs, as does sapnap, the two of them watching as the teacher starts to walk towards their table. karl clears his throat and sits up straighter, sapnap snorting under his breath at the action and george inhales deeply, trying to ease the tightness of his chest. he lets his eyes fall to the desk, trying to focus on the two people sitting around him, reminding himself if he needed help, they were there.

“would one of you mind splitting off with our new student? you are the only group of three, and i’d like to have groups of two if possible.” their teacher says softly, smiling at them. the idea of splitting up the trio makes george’s stomach churn, but he knew if it were absolutely needed, one would stay with him while the other went with the new boy. 

sapnap, luckily, had already caught onto a solution before a break up was needed. “with all do respect ma’am, we’d prefer to stay as a group. however he can join us if he likes. we’ve already started to work on our project, so it’s easier for us all to just add him in and explain what he doesn’t understand.”

the teacher hums softly and nods, giving a curt smile as she walks away. the new boy slowly takes a seat on the opposite side of them, setting his backpack down on the floor. the air turns awkward as he pulls out his notebook and shifts on his chair, sapnap clearing his throat loudly as he slides over the beginning of their notes for him to copy.

“i’m sapnap, this is george, and that’s karl.” sapnap introduces, highlighting a few of george’s notes after pointing at them, getting a confirming nod from him. “if you ever need help, feel free to ask us. we’re not as smart as gogy here, but we can help you out. you’re probably better off asking me for help, since karl over here will not shut up when you start him on talking.”

“hey! you bitch!” karl whines loudly, reaching over george’s head and smacking his shoulders hard. sapnap hisses in pain and retaliates with a hit of his own, george giggling and ducking his head as his friends start to bicker back and forth. 

karl gasps at the sound of george giggling, turning to him with a betrayed expression on his face. he scowls and softly flicks george’s forehead, “you’re laughing at my pain? what the fuck! i trusted you man.” he whines, gently shaking george back and forth by his shoulders.

karl continues to shake george, but when george tenses up, karl is quick to remove his hold. he gently rubs his back for a second before pulling away, sliding their vocab phrases over to the boy as well as his collection of flash cards.

“here, can you write these vocab phrases on these flash cards so we can put them up on the poster? george can help you if you want, since he’s already finished our powerpoint. we’re planning on putting them up on a poster that sapnap is going to make, and im writing our script.” karl informs, offering him a kind smile. “oh yeah, and what’s your name?”

“my name is dream.” he mumbles, his voice slightly raspy, rolling with a gentle floridan accent. he pulls the cards and vocab phrases close to him, george silently passing over his collection of colored pens to help make the cards more unique.

“did you just recently move here? or did you just transfer into our class?” sapnap asks, cocking his head slightly to the side as he asks his question.

“oh i just recently moved here, actually. i heard your school had a good football program, and the one at our community college wasn’t the best so i transferred here.” dream informs, his eyes darting from the vocab notes to his flash cards. he slides the finished flash cards over to sapnap, who slides them in the pocket of his binder. “i’m from florida, my mom said it would be better than texas since it’s closer, and i haven’t seen snow in person yet, so i thought i’d take the opportunity.”

“sapnap’s from texas!” karl chirps, dream pausing his writing to look over at him. sapnap nods in affirmation, humming softly. “i’m the only one who’s lived here the whole time. george was born in the uk somewhere, i don’t know how the uk locations work.”

“oh really? does he have an accent?” dream asks, casting his eyes to george. george shrugs, keeping his eyes on his notebook where his pencil had been softly sketching. “i’ve always liked english accents. i used to want to move to the uk when i was little just because i wanted to pick up the accent.”

“george’s accent is cute. when he tells us to drink some wah-tah.” sapnap laughs, mocking george’s accent. the latter jabs the eraser bit of his pencil into sapnap’s side, causing him to let out a little squeak. sapnap jabs him back in retaliation, sticking his tongue out to taunt george to do it again, but george only scoffs and goes back to his drawing. 

the shrill sound of the bell ringing fills the air, george’s body tensing up slightly at the sudden, loud noise. he relaxes when he realizes it was just the bell, quickly hiding his discomfort with a quick motion of shoving his items back into his bag. he scoops up the pens he had given dream and throws them into his pencil case, zipping up his back and throwing it over his shoulder.

the other three follow his suit, all of them being taken aback with how dream seemed to tower over them. it intimidated george, while not being the shortest out of them, he still felt small while standing next to him. sapnap walks to his side first while karl collected up his notes, his eyes lighting up slightly when sapnap grabs his hand and idly starts to swing them.

“hey dream,” karl calls, as dream turns to walk out of the classroom before them. he pauses in his step, turning back to look at karl, waiting for them to come over to him. “what’s your schedule like? we all get out after lunch, and i wanted to ask if you’d like to come to the library with us to work on our project? unless sapnap left his poster at home, instead of in his car, then we might just go to his house this time.”

“i have gym next, and then my coding class, then im free. i’m taking chemistry as an online course since in person didn’t fit my schedule.” dream shrugs casually, his entire posture relaxed as he watches the rest of the class filter out of the room. his eyes dart to george, watching as he plays with the rings on sapnap’s hands, twisting them around on his finger. he was hiding slightly behind sapnap, the boy letting him do as he wanted, his thumb supporting the back of george’s hand.

“sapnap and george have gym next, you might have the same coach. none of us have coding though, although i’ve thought about taking a class like that next semester.” karl says, rocking back and forth on his heels slightly. “im gym, sapnap is the coach’s pet, so it should help you get on his good side if you ever want to skip stretches. but he doesn’t like people being late, so you should probably hurry there.”

dream nods and karl turns, ruffling george’s hair before he turns and walks out of the room, disappearing into the crowd, george and sapnap trail after him out of the room, although they turn into a different direction, their hands swaying softly to the beat of their steps. george was always content in the silence of standing next to sapnap, his footsteps falling in beat with him. in an odd way, george always looked forward to gym class. he liked their warmups, the running laps around the track, then breaking into a group with sapnap for whatever little activity they were doing. it gave him time to use up his energy and feel the freedom of running however fast he wanted, running away from the world for a few minutes. 

the locker room smelt of week old sweat and axe spray, crinkling every nose that passed into the room. george pushes through the disgusting scent and makes his way to the back, where he and sapnap had their lockers. he inputs the combination and pulls his locker open, grabbing the old gym clothes he had folded neatly on the bottom of his locker. a gray tanktop and loose black basketball shorts, which were borrowed from sapnap since he had forgotten his shorts one day and borrowed sapnap’s spares till he insisted he just keep them.

he throws his backpack into the locker and steps out of his sweats, kicking them up into his locker. as he pulls on the shorts, he looks up at the approaching figure of dream, who was holding a combination lock in his hands. he walks to the locker beside sapnap’s and pulls it open, throwing his bag in. 

“i hope you don’t mind if i have my locker next to yours. i don’t really want to change around people i don’t know.” dream hums, pulling his gym clothes out of his bag and setting them on the bench.

“it’s alright dude, don’t worry. you don’t give off a clingy stalker vibe, if that’s what you were worried about.” sapnap chuckles, and dream joins in, his laugh really lightening, despite the slight rasp of it.

george steals a look over at dream as he laughs before he pulls off his shirt, throwing it on top of his sweats. the tanktop was more revealing than his shirt, showing off his sunken collarbones, which he runs two fingers over delicately before leaning down to grab his waterbottle and shutting his locker. dream meets george’s eyes before george drops them, and the cold, dead expression on george’s face makes dream’s stomach drop, wondering for a second if he had done something to upset george.

the air of the gym was stale as george walked in, heading straight to the bleachers to set his water bottle down with everyone else's. the waxed floors squeak with his steps, clinging to him until he stops to sit beside his waterbottle. he watches as everyone messes around, their coach still in the lockerroom. sapnap soon exits the lockerroom, dream following suit. the two walk over to where george was sitting, 

sapnap gently places his hand on george’s shoulder, george leaning closer to him and relaxing when sapnap’s musky scent fills his nose, calming the heaviness in his chest he hadn’t noticed before. “coach said we’re playing badminton after running laps around the track, so make sure you don’t overwork yourself too much running so we can play. it’s luckily a bit chilly out, so you don't have to worry about heatstroke.”

george huffs, his brows furrowing as he stares up at sapnap. his expression was that of reluctance, but sapnap chases it away with a soft tickle to george’s neck. the boy lets out a soft giggle, angling his head in an attempt to block sapnap’s hand. the older male removes his hand, smiling at the addictiveness to george’s laugh, running his fingers through the hair on the back of george’s neck, “no arguing, alright? be good.”

dream shifts around awkwardly behind sapnap, feeling as if he were third wheeling. luckily the awkwardness falls away when their coach walks into the gym, sapnap removing his hand from george’s hair and falling back to his side. he still stays standing between george and dream, an almost protective feeling radiating from him to dream, like he was shielding dream from interacting with george. it was an odd feeling, but dream pushes it to the back of his head as the coach starts to call people for attendance.


	3. three

george’s phone beeps as the coach passes over him for attendance, and he pulls it out of his pocket after giving the coach an idle wave when his name was called. the class breaks apart to start their warmups, george opening up the notification and seeing that it was from his father. fear immediately strikes in his chest, causing it to constrict, sucking all the air out of his lungs. he walks to the the side of the gym and leans against the wall as he reads the two words on his screen, a command to call his father. 

george swipes on the chat and hits the call button, his bottom lip pulling between his teeth. he never knew what to expect when his father wanted to talk to him, a million emotions were flooding through george’s body, and he had to work fast to shut them all down to avoid overwhelming himself. it was the worst possible time for his father to pull his stunt, george was in a large room with no hiding spaces, yet the longer he took to respond to his father, the worse it would get. 

as the dial tone rings, sapnap walks over to george, taking notice of his tense, scared posture and the phone to his ear. he had been through these calls before, standing in front of him to act as a barrier to everyone else, helping keep george focused on a smaller area. he grabs his free hand, gently rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb, keeping it soft as a form of comfort.

“yeah?” george asks once his father picks up, forcing his voice to be louder than it usually was, not wanting to be criticized for mumbling.

“do not speak to me in that tone of voice.” his father starts, his words slurring together. although it was only eleven in the morning, he was already black out wasted, and furious. it would be only in george’s luck if he’d arrive home after his father had already passed out. “what the hell did i tell you about leaving the fucking dishes out? do you think i’m some type of maid?”

“no sir..” george whispers. the sound of his father’s voice was enough to make george flinch, sapnap’s hand tightening around george’s to remind him that he was there. his chest felt like it was constricting, breathing getting only harder as his father’s voice rises in anger and volume. 

“if you can’t even pick up after yourself, then you shouldn’t fucking eat! then we wouldn’t have any issue with the dishes, now would we? do i have to do fucking everything in this house?” the sound of glass shattering made george flinch, his chest constricting from the sound. he didn’t have to ask to know what his father threw. it was the plate he had left in the drying rack once he had finished washing it, having forgotten to put it up before he left for class. “if you don’t clean that shit up and start picking up after yourself, i’m going to throw you back in the fucking closet. you understand me?”

fear strikes cold through george’s body at the mention of being thrown back into the closet, his hands trembling slightly at the thought. the memory of the dark closet, with its doorknob locked and his thin form barely able to fit inside, caused george’s lungs to stop working. the hours of being locked inside there, only allowed out when it was seen fit by his father, his muscles too frail and the room too small to give him enough room to break the door down. the memories of what would happen while he was locked in there drove blinding anxiety down george’s spine, and he squeezes his eyes closed tightly, taking a deep breath to try and calm his nerves.

“yes sir, i understand. im sorry, it won’t happen again.” george whispers, feeling tears crawl up the back of his throat. as he waits for his fathers response, he tries his hardest to avoid sniffling, to show any signs of distress.

“it better not. you keep this shit up, and you’re no better than being right where your mother is.” his father spits with absolute distaste, taking an audible drink of whatever alcohol he chose that day. “i expect you home by six, no later. if you’re not home by then, you can sleep on the streets for all i care.”

with that, george’s father hangs up. the dial tone rings in his ears like a gunshot, his heartbeat picking up as his hand lowers, everything crashing into him all at once. the tears start to fall past his eyes, an angry swipe at them with the back of his hand failing to wipe them away. sapnap raises his hand and gently brushes them away, keeping his movements slow after seeing the way george heavily flinches from his hand moving. it makes his heart ache, he hated seeing the pain and fear in george’s eyes. he drops his hand and grab’s george’s hand, grasping his phone and placing it back in george’s pocket. 

“come here, let’s go out into the hallway yeah?” sapnap keeps his voice gentle, holding his hand out for george to take. george sniffles as he grabs his hand, trying his hardest to avoid breaking down till they were out of the publicity of the gym. he’s lead out by sapnap, walking with him back inside the safety of the lockerroom, out of the way of prying eyes. the door shuts behind them, sapnap not having enough time to turn around before george breaks.

he wraps the boy up in his arms, george burying his face in sapnap’s chest as he sobs. it was a broken sound, his breaths hiccuping and catching in his throat, muffled by sapnap’s shirt. he felt weak for crying, crying because of a simple, stupid phone call, but everytime he recieved one it was the exact same cycle. the exact same blackmail would be used on him, bringing up memories that only damaged him, bringing up memories he was trying his absolute hardest to ignore. 

george doesn’t register his body being moved, but sapnap guides him over to the benches inside the lockerroom and helps him sit down, pulling george into his lap, keeping him as close as possible. 

“george, can you take a deep breath for me?” he asks softly, words muddled to george’s ears, hidden behind the racing of his heartbeat. he shakes his head, attempting too yet being sucked back into his hyperventilating rhythm. his head buries into sapnap’s neck, sapnap keeping his grip tight, protective, yet leaving enough control in george to pull away if the physical contact got too much. one hand holds onto his waist, the other rubbing gentle circles into george’s back, “you can, i know you can, even if it takes a few minutes. you can do it gogy. you’re so strong and im so proud of you, so proud.” sapnap’s hand removes from george’s waist and grabs his hand, placing it right on his chest, “follow my breaths bub, take your time okay?”

george nods, choking on another sob in an attempt to quell them. his bottom lip draws between his teeth before he forces himself to release it, breathing in deeply through his nose and exhaling it slowly through his mouth. he does it in rhythm with sapnap’s slow breaths, and although it takes a few minutes, george slowly gains control over his breathing and calms himself down. his hand drops from sapnap’s chest, head staying buried in his neck, breath fanning against sapnap’s skin. 

“good job, i’m so proud of you. i had full faith in you that you could do it.” sapnap whispers, softly playing with george’s hair. he holds george in his lap for an extra minute before he unwraps his arms from his waist, “can you sit on the bench for me while i get us some paper towels? i won’t be far.”

george nods slowly, his movements feeling sluggish as he slides from sapnap’s lap and onto the cold wood of the bench. he pulls his knees to his chest, suddenly feeling the chill of the air as sapnap leaves his side. he stares blankly at the lockers in front of him, the lingering haze of sadness still clouding his brain. his mind goes over the phone call once again, the sound of the plate shattering reverberating around in his brain. his fingers twitch as they cling to his legs, unconsciously dipping beneath the ends of his shorts to start scratching at his skin. his fingers press hard and with an unintended speed, easily starts scraping away a layer of skin, blooming it red. 

when sapnap comes back, paper towels wet with cold water in his hand, he notices george’s scratching. as he sits beside him, he rests his hand overtop george’s, the contact making george’s gaze break from the lockers and snap onto sapnap. he lets his hand be pulled away from his thigh, fingers being laced with sapnap’s once again. his other hand raises the wet paper towels, gently dabbing them beneath george’s eyes to reduce the redness and rid of the tear trails. “it’s okay, everything will be okay.”

george can only nod at sapnap, his eyes fluttering shut as he soaks in the care of sapnap’s touch. he didn’t believe him, he never did, but he didn’t want sapnap to be distraught by his hopelessness. his guard cracks slightly, allowing sapnap full control as he cleans george up, rubbing the paper towel gently beneath george’s eyes. when sapnap’s hand removes from george’s face, his lashes flutter open, staring right into sapnap’s eyes.

the two were so close that george could smell the laces of minty gum in sapnap’s breath, feeling the ghost of his exhales brush against his cheeks. sapnap gently strokes the back of george’s hand with his thumb before pulling away, standing to throw the paper towels in the bin. he comes back and extends his hand for george once again, the taller taking it and allowing himself to be pulled up. 

“i’ll tell coach you feel sick and that you’d like to sit out, if you’d like?” sapnap asks, stopping at the lockerroom doors. he slips his hand from george’s, looking at him over his shoulder. george shakes his head, exhaling slowly as he pushes open the lockerroom doors and walks back out into the gym. 

everyone had started to walk outside towards the field, george and sapnap following after them. as they exit the doors of the gym, the cold air hits them, having turned colder with the threat of rain. in only his tanktop and shorts, george’s body starts to tremble with the temperature, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts, trying to appear unbothered by it despite his tremors. 

“do you want me to run back in and get my jacket?” sapnap asks, following him to the descending stairs towards their track. he could visibly see george’s trembling, yet george declines with a quick shake, not wanting to waste his time just because he was cold. sapnap frowns slightly, but doesn’t push george’s response, walking down the stairs with him, then over to towards the coach. 

he was nearly done, yet george was close enough to overhear the four laps around the track, which everyone could either run, or walk. he knew most, if not all, would choose to walk the distance in favor of prolonging the time they had to play today’s activity, yet george was going to run it all to play, if not to feel the cold air burning down his throat. 

with release from the coach, the group of students start to make their way down the track, george inhaling deeply before letting his feet have control. his pace starts off slow, yet gradually picks up till he’s in a full blown sprint, the air rushing past his ears drowning out the world from around george, isolating him with only his thoughts.


	4. four.

george doesn’t stop running till his lungs are screaming and the coach’s whistle blows, snapping him from his thoughts. his feet slow to a light job as he cuts across the grass to the other side of the track, standing out towards the edge of the group as he doubles over, breathing in deep and slow to calm his breathing. the cold air made his throat feel burned, every breath hurting in a way that only made george want to run more, than stop. 

despite the coach speaking to the group in front of him, the world felt silent to george as he caught his breath. there was a comfortable hazy feeling falling over his mind, spacing out george’s thoughts till he was relaxed, his shoulders sinking as he straightens his body back up. he rubs at his bare arms with the palms of his hands, trying to create a friction to warm himself up. 

as he does so, something pokes him in the side, causing george to flinch and whirl around. his guard was up from the sudden touch, hands flying up slightly to protect himself, feeling like whoever was beside him was far too close for comfort. his heartbeat picks up in suspense, eyes dilated in fear as they land on dream. he could tell his reaction had startled dream, hand stilled from where it had poked him, mouth frozen open slightly, like he wanted to speak.

“sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you. i wanted to ask if you’d like my hoodie, since you seem cold. i have a long sleeved shirt on under this.” dream offers, flashing george a gentle closed mouth smile, yet it didn’t ease him up one bit.

before george had to think too much about speaking, sapnap appears in his field of vision, the group having broken apart as the coach finished his directions. george’s fearful look was enough for sapnap to get protective over his friend, standing only a bit in front of george, enough to use himself as a shield. his presence helps ease george’s anxiety, his teeth capturing his bottom lip, chewing on it softly as he hides slightly behind sapnap’s shoulder.

“what did you do?” sapnap asks, his voice nearly growling. george buries his face in sapnap’s shoulderblades, not wanting sapnap to provoke another fight over a misunderstanding, something he tended to do when he felt like george was unsafe, yet he didn’t have it in him to say something in front of dream.

“i just offered him my hoodie is all, he looked cold.” dream says simply, not appearing at all intimidated by sapnap’s stare. it seems to only anger him more, george’s hands clutching at the bottom of sapnap’s shirt, tugging at it in an attempt to get his attention. sapnap doesn’t notice, his jaw clenched as he stares down dream, “i accidentally startled him because i poked him, but i didn’t mean any harm.”

“don’t touch him, understand? you don’t know him, therefore you have no knowledge of what he is and isn’t comfortable with.” sapnap snarls, a sound that, although he had heard quite a few times, still startled him. he tightens his grip on the shirt, tugging again only harder this time, finally catching his attention. sapnap turns around quickly, keeping his hands in full view of george, not wanting to scare him even more with a sudden movement from him while he was angry. “are you alright? did i scare you? i’m sorry, i didn’t intend too.”

“i’m okay.” he whispers, his eyes casting over to dream before landing on sapnap once more, words soft as he speaks. his eyes were soft and pleading, despite holding a glazed layer of fear. “please don’t fight, he didn’t mean it. he didn’t know.”

sapnap’s eyes almost immediately soften when he meets george’s, nodding slightly and letting his hands grab george’s fingers, swinging their hands slightly. the action makes the corner of george’s lips twitch, sapnap squeezes his fingers, a reassuring squeeze, before letting go. 

“coach says it’s teams of two, one in front and one in back. you can go pick the court, i’ll get the rackets and birdie. we’re roating by winners every ten minutes.” sapnap explains, smiling at the way george’s eyes gather light at the reminder of their activity today.

george nods, turning on his feet, walking down the track towards their tennis courts. with a slight pep in his step, mood lifting at the thought of playing his favorite sport. he stops at an empty court, sitting down on the cold acrylic ground as he waits for sapnap. the small rocks littering the ground dig into the bare skin of his thigh, almost painful with how small and sharp some of them were, yet george just ignores the feeling. he picks at the ground, peeling more of the colored pebbles from their glue and throwing them away. 

the sound of feet against the ground makes george look up, and he happily hops up when sapnap holds out the racket and birdie. george tosses it up into the air and starts to volley it in front of him, his eyes locked onto the birdie as it bounces off the mesh of the net. he counts each hit in his head, mouthing the numbers to himself till the shrill blow of a whistle breaks his focus and the birdie falls on the ground. he bends and picks it up, looking over at the team opposing them, two females who were softly whispering to themselves, casting a glance over at george before going back to their conversation.

george feels himself shrink, the happiness of playing his favorite game and confidence that he could do well fading. he found himself wondering over what they were saying, wondering what comments they were making about him out of his ears reach. did he look dumb while he was volleying the birdie? did his outfit look horrible and not suit him right? was there something off about his hair? the doubts swirl around his head as he gets in position to serve, attempting to push them to the back of his mind as he releases his grip on the birdie and swings, sending it high into the air.

the games go faster than george anticipated, george and sapnap winning game after game till the coach blows the whistle, signalling that class was over. everyone flocks together as they make their way back towards the school doors, passing the coach their rackets and birdies as they pass. the gym air was humid with sweat as everyone walks inside, some breaking off towards the drinking fountain while others head straight towards the lockerrooms. george walks to the bleachers to get his waterbottle, the cold liquid soothing his throat as he gulps it down.

“you did great george.” sapnap praises as he walks up behind him, the skin of his forehead wet with sweat. he wipes it with the back of his hand, inhaling slowly to calm his breathing, taking george’s waterbottle when it’s offered out to him. george smiles from the praise, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as sapnap takes a few drinks and offers his waterbottle back to him. “let’s go get changed, i’m already ready for lunch. i’m thinking subway today? or maybe we could get dairy queen.”

george hums in the back of his throat at the thought of getting subway, walking into the lockerroom and stopping at his locker to pull out his phone. he texts the question to karl, setting his phone on the bench as he waits for his reply, pulling off his tanktop and folding it back up to be put in his locker. he hears his phone vibrate against the bench as he’s pulling his shirt back on, grabbing it and flipping it over so he could read the screen as he pulled off his shorts. he taps sapnap’s shoulder after seeing karl’s response, pointing at the screen of his phone for sapnap to read as he pulls on his pants. 

“of course karl would ask for mc donalds instead.” sapnap chuckles, rolling his eyes fondly. he unlocks george’s phone to respond, typing quick, “we’ve had it thrice this week. if we do not get something other than mc donalds i will stop giving him the right to exist.”

george giggles, taking his phone back from sapnap after the message was sent. he felt better being back in his large clothing than the revealing set of gym clothes he wore, letting the sleeves of his shirt fall past his hands into a set of sweater paws. he pockets his phone and pulls on his backpack, locking his locker while he waits for sapnap to finish.

after sapnap finishes changing, the two make their way towards the lockerroom exit, the bell ringing and dismissing them officially from class. they stroll down the hall side by side, george fishing his earbuds out of his pocket in preparation for his next class, which he had without either of them. karl joins them at an intersection of hallways, throwing his arm around sapnap’s shoulders.

“karl, from the bottom of my heart, if you say you want mc donalds one more fucking time i will kill you.” sapnap warns, sending him a glare which karl blinks away with a smile. “you cannot live off of chicken nuggets and big mac’s.”

“i can too! who the fuck says i can’t?” karl whines, sending a glance at george, “tell him george! it’s not hurting me right? so i can! he just doesn’t have good taste in food”

karl pulls a heartbroken face at george, who rolls his eyes and shakes his head. the action makes karl gasp, and sapnap laughs. “see! he agrees with me! we are not getting mc donald’s today. i’m in the mood for subway or dairy queen, what would you like?”

“i guess i’ll take subway.” karl sighs, dramatically hunching his shoulders. george reaches up behind sapnap and pats karl’s head, making karl smile, “shouldn’t we get dream’s vote? he is coming with us right?”

the duo nod, having forgotten to ask before leaving the lockerroom. karl waves them goodbye, breaking off into a brisk walk to try and catch dream outside his next class. sapnap continues to walk next to george till they reach the doorway of his class, and he turns to give george a gentle hug before walking into his room. now left to himself, george walks down the hall to his class, pulling out his phone and plugging in his earbuds, keeping half attention on the movement of his feet as he puts them in his ears.

the earbuds help focus him in, blocking out everyone else in the world. he turns it up until he could feel the vibrations of the music against his ears, the pads of his fingers drumming against his thigh as he walks. when he was alone with his own thoughts, george didn’t have to worry about putting up a kind front, letting his expression turn cold, eyes hollow as draws closer to the classroom. it took too much of his energy to put up a facade some days, keeping it up for the entirety of his school hours was draining.

art was george’s favorite class period. he sat in the back, an area that was a bit dimmer than the rest of the room due to the light being out. it left him in his own little world, where his music played melodies through his ears while he let his mind etch his thoughts into abstract swirls of color in his sketchbook. without paints, he preferred to use oil pastels, smearing them around with the pad of his thumb, not at all minding the colored stain it left behind on his skin. the teacher never minded him doing his own thing, as long as it was on topic of the assignments they were doing, she never stepped in to scold him for not paying attention or contributing to the class. 

as the bell rings to signal class to start, george places his sketchbook on his table, leaning his backpack up against his chair before going towards the supplies cart, grabbing an assortment of colors that appealed to his current mood, and brings them back to his table. he arranges them in size order while he waits for attendance to be taken, picking at the paper coating that had their color name etched in black. his name is called and george simply raises his hand in the air, giving the teacher a small wave when she notes his presence, before moving on to the next student. george gives the volume button on his phone a small nudge with his finger, turning his music up louder, before he opens to a clean page in his sketchbook, and starts drawing.


End file.
